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Melanie Swan The Scared Womb - The Myth of the Inner Critic on Wild Flow Podcast with Charlotte Pointeaux

This week we’re myth-busting! The Inner Critic is a popular name for that inner voice who is known to tear us down when we’re ‘PMNS-ing’, but Melanie Swan, womb medicine woman at @the_sacred_womb wants to realise this isn’t normal, its not something we should learn to work with, but is in fact one way trauma shows up in our menstrual cycle.

tune in to hear:

Melanie and I are talking about this myth of the inner critic: why it happens, how to heal it, and Melanie shares an easy, practical, beautiful exercise that you can do straight away towards the end of this episode to connect in with your womb and this voice.

Melanie goes deep on:

  1. How this inner critic has evolved into being, and why we relate to this voice as an inner critic,

  2. How it’s related to trauma that’s held in the body, and

  3. How we can work through patterns that are coming up in this lifetime and past lifetimes as well to understand the origin of this inner critic,

  4. As well as how to release it’s hold from our lives and cycles.

So if you experience what you call an inner critic voice, particularly in the pre-menstrual phase of your cycle – or at any other phase as well – then this is going to be a really great one to listen to.

[00:00] Melanie: It tends to come up at premenstrual because our subconscious opens up, the hormones shift, so that it’s nature’s kind of way of helping us grow. So at that time in our cycle, we have greater access to our subconscious. So it comes up. So what we’ve got at premenstrual time is a different access point to our stored pain and the defense responses we’ve got so that we don’t feel all that stored pain. But I think it becomes so normal and so ingrained and it comes up at specific times in our cycle that it seems like it’s part of the cycle. It’s not. It’s actually trauma based and attachment disruption based, but we dissociate to that pain that created the need for what we call in the inner critic. We don’t know it’s a thing. We don’t know it needs actual healing. It’s a wounded state.

[00:57] Charlotte: Welcome to Wild Flow podcast with me, Charlotte Pointeaux. I’m an internationally award winning menstrual cycle and embodiment coach cycle mysteries guide and Founder of the First Moon Circle School of Menstrual education for children.

[01:11] Charlotte: Tune in for deep, heartfelt conversations with wisdom keepers, embodied leaders and change makers on themes from cyclical living in flow with your menstrual cycle embodies wisdom reclaiming rites of passages to normalize period positivity for you and the next. Generation and exploring our embodied experiences, soulful transformations and intuitive wisdom guiding you to express and embody your full power in the change you want to see in the world. Are you ready? Let’s flow.

[01:47] Charlotte: It’s now just over a week until applications to our 2024 1st Moon Circle Facilitator training close. And I’m just here to share a little nudge, little reminder that if this is calling you, if you’d love to be able to support children and their families, to have a beautiful start to their menstrual cycle life, to embrace their periods, to understand their body, to have body literacy, and to just feel like what they’re going through is so normal, that to have a menstrual cycle is a beautiful, powerful thing, and how to work with and live with their cycle, then this training might be for you. It’s a professional training. It’s a certification program that is four months online starting in February 2024, and we teach you absolutely everything you need to know to hold sacred space for children and how to teach menstrual cycle awareness and puberty knowledge to children in age appropriate, empowering ways, as well as how to really honor this as a deep and profound rite of passage that it really is. This training is accredited. We’re now in our fourth year, I think, of running this training. We’ve got over 100 Facilitators around the world, and it’s so deeply fulfilling for me, I just absolutely love welcoming everyone into this community, and we support our graduates for life with support and guidance and skills and coaching that they’ll need to help take their circles out to the world afterwards. So it’s not just a how to and then we leave you hanging. No. We give you everything you need to make a business and an impact out of this training and this deep passion that calls us. If you’re interested, you can find in the show notes the link to find out what’s involved on the course and to find out dates, pricing, all the information that you’ll need to make a decision about whether this is for you. And if it is, there’s the link to complete the application form. Applications close on Friday, the 17 November 2023. So if you’re interested, join us now. This is the only 2024 training round. After that, it’ll be early 2025. So I hope that you will join us. I would love to support you, I would love to support your family, and I would love you to join us to help create these ripples of period positivity out in the world.

 

Okay, now on to this week’s episode. Melanie Swan is here to talk to us about how the inner critic is actually a myth, how it’s not real, how it’s something that we need to tend to and heal and integrate within us instead of using it as an excuse or a reasoning for why we feel like we do in the pre menstrual phase. And I’m absolutely fascinated having this conversation, because the inner critic is really widely spoken about in the menstrual cycle realm, and Melanie’s here to dispel this myth and give us a more empowering way of relating to and working with this inner critic instead. I absolutely loved chatting with Melanie, who is from not very far away from me in the UK. So we had a good old natter about growing up in the Midlands, which is not north and not south in the UK, for those of you who don’t know where that is and what it’s like living abroad, it was really beautiful getting to know Melanie. She’s somebody who I discovered when I first came to menstrual cycle work and rites of passage work.

[05:29] Charlotte: I found her work quite a few years ago and I learned so much from her. So it was really lovely to get to connect with her at this point and have a good old chitchat with her.

 

So we’re talking about this myth of the inner critic, why it happens, how to heal it, and Melanie’s, including an easy, practical, beautiful exercise that you can do straight away towards the end of this episode as well. She’s talking to us about how this inner critic has evolved into being. Why it’s this story that we tell ourselves, how it’s related to trauma that’s held in the body and how we can work through patterns that are coming up in this lifetime and past lifetimes as well. To understand what’s the origin of this inner critic, as well as how to release it, release its hold from us. So if you experience what you know to be like an inner critic voice, particularly in the pre menstrual phase of your cycle or at any other phase as well, then this is going to be a really great one to listen to.

[06:43] Charlotte: I’ll introduce you to Melanie.

[06:44] Charlotte: Melanie is a womb medicine woman and multidimensional trauma healer. She helps women to come home to their true nature by embodying the multifaceted menstrual cycle to heal multidimensional trauma and co create with the divine through the portal of the womb. Such a beautiful episode. You can connect with Melanie at the sacred womb with underscores between each word and I’ll pop the links in the show notes or on her website, which is thesacredwoom.com and she’s living in Thailand now, although from the UK and offering incredible work online. So settle in and enjoy this conversation.

[07:27] Charlotte: Which I think is really powerful, really empowering as well, so that we can relate to different parts of ourselves in our cycle rather than being something that happens to us, that we’ve just got to deal with actually alleviating those symptoms altogether when we understand where it comes from and what it’s trying to tell us.

We’ve got Melanie Swan, who’s joining us, and I’m so excited to welcome her. We’ve just been having a right giggle before we press record reconnecting. This is the first time we’ve met, but we’re both from the Midlands in the UK and we’re both now living abroad and so we’ve got plenty in common from where we’ve grown up and of course, what we’re going to talk about today as well. So I’m really excited to have a chat with her. And so welcome, Melanie, how are you today?

[09:11] Melanie: Thank you so much. I’ve still got a big smile on my face from reminiscing about we both used to shovel coal in our nan’s house when we were little and how normal that you thank you for having me on the podcast. It’s a pleasure.

[09:27] Charlotte: Yeah, lovely. Really lovely. So first of all, just always like to start with the cycle check in and I think it can be really helpful for us to connect on that, sort of orient ourselves into the cycle where we’re at the seasons, we’re living in different hemispheres as well. And then just for listeners as well, to have that invitation to connect in with themselves and work out where they’re at in their cycles and seasons and have that moment to just really think about how they’re going. So I’ll begin and then I’ll invite you to share. So for me, I have a menstrual cycle and I’m at Ovulation at this point, so I’m sure you could probably tell because I feel really giggly and just joyful, and I’ve just been really loving laughing, and I’ve had tears rolling down my cheeks. And that just feels really just like a lovely expression of where I’m at in my cycle. So, yeah. Ovulation time feeling like I’ve got the energy and that joy and real, like, aliveness in my body. And I can feel all of those kind of, like, just sparks of that kind of summer energy in my body. And I’ve had some really, like, a real inclination to exercise quite a lot over the last few days, which is not normal for me. And it’s kind of like energy, and I just want to use it. So I’ve been enjoying some of that and listening to lots of music as well. Yeah, so just really feeling in that kind of summer joy, sitting down and working has been a bit hard. I’ve not been feeling very focused and very easy to get distracted and procrastinate and choose, like, oh, I wonder what’s going on over here, rather than sitting down and focusing. So, yeah, just feeling for me, that’s quite normal for me at this time of my cycle and connection feels really lovely. So the chat we’ve just been having and we’re about to have and just feeling like that’s a really nice time for me to be connecting with you. So from an embodied place in my menstrual cycle, that’s where I’m at. And we’re in peak spring here in the Southern hemisphere. We’re coming up to what some people know as Beltane next week, which in the Northern hemisphere is the point of Halloween. So for us, it’s that real peak spring. Everything’s really green and lush and growing and really coming into its own and it’s warm, we’re having some hot days after we’ve had a bit of a stop start spring so far. And so, yeah, just feeling like that warmth rising and I can wear more summery clothes and just got that kind of excitement. So that’s kind of aligning up with how I’m feeling in my body. And the moon is in its waxing phase, so we’ve just gone past first quarter and full moon will be next week. So, yeah, kind of that for me, it’s like all of these upward energies, like energy building within me and around me. So that’s where I’m at. And Melanie. How about you? If you have a menstrual cycle, if you’d like to share where you’re at and if you don’t have a menstrual cycle, then just how are you connecting in with your cyclical self or those energies within you and around you? How’s that feel for you today?

[13:20] Melanie: Okay, so, yeah, I do have a menstrual cycle and I’m day 19, but I’m in perimenopause, so my cycle feels different. I’m in the last chapter of my menstrual cycle, so it’s not the same as it was. Yeah, it’s different. So I’m Day 19 and I feel kind of sparkly and very unusual. It’s 08:20 here and that’s very early for me. I’m normally like, chew back until about 10:00 A.m., but chatting to you has been really enlifting. I’m in my transition from kind of post ovulation to early premenstrual, but it’s smooth now. It’s pretty smooth. It used to be a little bit bumpy and I used to really feel the transition, but no, I can feel the slight inwards pull, the slight downwards, but I feel really steady and just very grounded and present. But I can also feel that the womb is maxing, can’t get my words out. The moon is waxing too. So my cycle over the last few months has got a bit shorter. And I’ve bled with the dark moon for really quite a few years. But I’m coming into alignment now with bleeding with the full moon. So it’s a different energy and I feel quite refreshed by it, actually, because I’ve been very cave like, very internal, very hip woods, like two days of darkness when I bleed, and now it’s different. It’s like, oh, okay, I feel a bit more creative and I’m writing more and that feels really nice, just feeling really steady. And I’m actually more productive in the second half of my cycle as well. So just starting to kind of just be more focused on being able to kind of do some different sort of work than I can in the first half of my cycle. So, yeah, that’s where I’m at.

[15:37] Charlotte: Thank you for sharing. I think that’s such a valuable perspective as well. I love that, what you said about enjoying bleeding with the full moon, because, yeah, I was always bleeding with the new moon and then I got COVID and it threw out my cycle. So then after that, I’ve been bleeding like a few days before the new moon. So when new moon comes, I’m right at the tail end of my period or just already finished and starting to pick up again. And when I was really bleeding with the real darkness of that moon, I really relate to that feeling of going right in your cave and everything just stops. But the other thing is that now, because I’m bleeding beforehand, it’s like when the moon, my body’s ready to come back out. And then with the moon being dark, sometimes I do feel like especially if I’m really tired and I feel like I’ve not had enough of a rest while I’ve been bleeding, then it’s like that new moon kind of holds me back a little bit. It’s like, no, you’re not ready yet. So I don’t know whether it’s hard to know with these things, whether.

[16:56] Melanie: I.

[16:56] Charlotte: Don’T think the moon necessarily does it to you. But it’s like that kind of anchor, isn’t it? Or reminder or it’s not making my hormones do anything as such, but it’s like, that sort of like a reminder to check in and go like, oh, well, are you ready to come back out of your cave, as it were? How are you feeling? And so I’ve been just really noticing when I do take that moment to kind of check in, because I always know where the moon’s at and I use it as that kind of prompt to check in with myself, I have been noticing that I’ve been more tired for longer.

[17:38] Melanie: Yeah.

[17:39] Charlotte: So, yeah, it’s just curious, isn’t it? Like chicken or egg? Like, what causes what? But either way, I’m just noticing when I start bleeding and whether that is in relation with the moon and how that does change. And I have had times where I’ve bled with the full moon and found that I just didn’t get that inward downward drop enough. I was like, oh, I just can’t just didn’t get that full recharge that I think I needed. And maybe that’s the season of life I’m in as well, with three kids and just the busyness of things, and they always want something from me. So it’s kind of like I use my period as like this time to be like, no, leave me alone, don’t talk to me, go and ask your dad, kind of thing. So, yeah, I sort of have had in the past this sort of feeling of like I don’t love bleeding on the full moon as much, but I really love what you’re saying there about how actually it can be. Really nice and like you’re not getting sucked down as much, but you’re getting that kind of creativity and that chance to be inwards, but not so intensely inwards.

[18:52] Melanie: Yeah. I tend to write poetry when I’m bleeding on the full moon.

[18:56] Charlotte: Love that.

[18:57] Melanie: Quite nice.

[18:58] Charlotte: Yeah, you do. Beautiful. I’m not sure what you call them, actually. I can’t remember, like, medicine stories and poems and things like that. Thank you. Yeah, on your podcast, I’ve heard them and is that what you’re referring to? That kind of thing?

[19:18] Melanie: Yeah, I do take some time out, but when I bleed, but obviously when it’s the dark mood, I’m like a bear in its cave. But if I’m bleeding with the full moon, yeah, I just still take that time but tend to write poetry or I feel like swimming as well, or go for more of a walk or just get some more ideas, some different creative ideas. So it’s quite a different zone to be in, actually. But it’s refreshing because I’ve been in the cave for a few years.

[19:58] Charlotte: Yeah, nice to have some time out of it.

[20:01] Melanie: It is, actually. Yeah. And I’m writing the Sacred Womb book at the moment and about to relaunch the Wound Medicine Woman training. So it’s very apt that I’m doing more creative stuff and might even collage next time. Let’s see. Let’s see if I can actually be bothered to collect some magazines that I can cut some stuff out of because I’m trying to be quite light here because I don’t know if I’m moving. I might go to move to Bangkok. Nothing comes in the flat unless it’s necessary. But yeah, I think some creativity, dear. Sorry, my cat just jumped on the desk. Meowed and nutted the microphone. So yeah, we’ll see what happens this cycle. Cool.

[20:48] Charlotte: Love that. I think that’s a fun idea. Yeah. Nice way to use that energy. And so just on that note, with regards to cycle check ins then and where you’re living at the minute you’re in Thailand, it’s like a completely different climate. Like the seasons are different. I’m just curious whether you find that, how you relate to that, how you experience that, like, not having four seasons that you would have in the UK, do you feel like yeah. How’s that for you? And does it have an impact on how you relate to seasons and cycles?

[21:27] Melanie: Yeah, particularly this time of year. I really miss that turn in from the summer to the autumn. Just that like, the schools go back and the energy’s just kind of a golden there’s a golden light at the end of the day. I really miss the seasons and it’s for that reason predominantly that I might actually go back and live in England because I miss the cold. I really miss the cold. My body’s so used to it. I used to be a snowboarder and I missed the cold. I missed having socks on and I’m just going to put my cat down. So are you wondering how it relates to and kind of affects my cycle or my relationship to my cycle?

[22:13] Charlotte: Yeah, I’m curious if it does, because when we talk about for me, I don’t live in England anymore. I’m obviously in Australia, but I do live somewhere where we have four seasons and we do get a proper winter. It does get cold and I do have to put my socks on and my winter coat, like an English winter coat, like a proper one that’s really going to like it gets really cold. We have frost that snowed this year and then we get like hot summers. We do have that and we get like the leaves that drop and change colors. Like it’s it’s beautiful. And then the spring blossoms. I feel like really lucky to have that because maybe it is part of just what I grew up with and what I’m used to. But it really anchors me into the year in a deeper way and a mindful way as well. As well as like a spiritual way. But I really love watching nature as a reflection of my inner seasons and cycles. And I get to think about what the energy is out there and how I’m feeling in myself in relation to that. So, for me, I have a really strong connection with the four seasons of the Earth around me and nature. And I’m curious whether you do. And I can’t imagine, actually, what it would be like to go and live somewhere where that was just not a thing. And I’m just curious whether how you relate to that or if you found a way of relating to the climate you are in as well.

[23:58] Melanie: Yeah, I’ve been here about 16 months so far, and you can either call it three seasons or five seasons here because of climate change. The seasons are changing quite a lot and we’ve had a lot of rain this year. But I don’t actually relate to my cycle in seasons roughly, so I don’t refer to them as spring, summer, autumn, winter.

[24:25] Charlotte: Yeah.

[24:27] Melanie: So it’s not I don’t I don’t necessarily have that anchor point, but I just try and I feel my cycle shifts every three days. The undercurrent of the energy. And yeah, this kind of leads us into the topic we’re talking about a little bit, actually. And I found that the inner Seasons map is really useful to a point. But what I found not all women and not what you’re doing, you’re using as a reference point, not an absolute, is that women are taking that going from, like a relatively flat cycle with a bit of a peak. And then a bit of anger and then bit tired and then a bit horny, and then it all just kind of goes round again. Great. So we’ve moved from that mainly to four seasons, but I found women in general taking it as a should, something to adhere to. So I don’t actually teach the four seasons, but in relation to being here, I find it quite refreshing in a way because it takes a different type of attunement to what is happening within, especially because of climate change. We’ve had two rainy seasons so far this year and an extra little monsoon from India, apparently. Thank you, India. It just rained for about four days and it’s just hot all the time. Even in winter, it’s just still hot, just a bit less hot than very hot season. So I’m kind of struggling a little bit with that because I do miss that very inwards turn, which is reflected in my cycle. And, yeah, it’s for that reason I’ll probably go back because it’s just so hard for me to be just sweating all the time, showering two, three times a day when I come in. But it’s lovely as well. Got a nice big swimming pool here. Life’s not that hard. But, yeah, it’s almost kind of good in a way to get a different perspective because the four seasons of the cycle is becoming so popular. It just doesn’t fly in this part of the world. I mean, there’s about a third, probably a quarter of the world where that just doesn’t work. Because if you say four seasons to Thai women, they’re like, what you want about we have hot, very freaking hot or hot and wet. Or they have what they call green season as well, where it’s rained and then it’s sunny and everything is I mean, it’s always green, but it’s extra green. So it’s different. And it helps just kind of come off that as a map, really, and understand that it doesn’t work for everybody because we just live in different parts of the world, and the tropics is very different than that. But just leading into this kind of inner critic that is sort of very accepted, I think, in the menstrual world. Would that be a fair point to say?

[27:55] Charlotte: Yeah, I think it is. I hear it being talked about by a lot of people often, and it seems like to be, like, an accepted part of the cycle, which is why I’m really excited to chat with you about this and like, this idea of it being a myth, because I think that it’s not. I agree with what I’ve heard you talk about on your podcast, which is what I wanted to get into, that it’s something that it shouldn’t be, like a given. I won’t go say any more about that at the minute. I want to hear from you about maybe we should start with what do you think the inner critic is and what is it according to the myth? And then let’s unpack it.

[28:54] Melanie: Yeah, okay. So the inner critic, as I understand it, is this kind of part of us, this narrative within that says stuff like, oh, well, look at that. You should have done it didn’t go very well. You should do it better. You should have tried harder. It consists of shoulds and have dos. And whilst it can be used to be to point us in a different direction, that sort of self talk is not on the base of love. It’s on the base of fear. And it can be anything from quite mild to really strong. Look at that, what you’ve done. Look, I should have tried, should have really like voracious. So it’s on a scale, and I would say it could be summed up as an inner part of us that is coming from a place of fear that we have to that’s trying to get us to behave adhere to a certain way of being in order that we get what we perceive we want or need.

[30:15] Charlotte: Yeah, I hear you. I hear that, too. And it seems to be like, from when I’ve heard it being talked about and taught. This inner critic is something that it’s not nice, but it has, like, a purpose and is something that we can befriend almost or learn to live with. And I question that a bit because I think these kind of voices I’m more interested in where’s it coming from, what’s it really about, what’s underneath that? Is it something that we need to just put up with or is it something that we can tend to listen to, work with and heal and let it go to a you know, I love that you’ve talked about that and your expression when I listened to you. Was it’s a myth that’s been bandied around like a ball at Wimbledon? Which I just laughed. I thought that was great because it is. It seems to be very much one of those things where it’s a concept that’s taught and then people are taking it on and going like, oh, okay, well, this is normal then, because it’s being talked about. That’s just my inner critic kind of thing. Rather than going, Hang on a minute, is this something that we are just going to leave it there and accept on a kind of surface level or are we going to work with it on a deeper level? And does it have a rightful place within our cycle and psyche? Yeah. So why do you think we have this myth? Where do you think it’s come from?

[32:07] Melanie: I think we’ve got the myth because we don’t have a reference point for not having it. So there are books written about this. I haven’t read them and I know it’s weaved into several menstrual cycle and courses as well. I think it’s there I mean, I’ll explain a bit in a minute how the inner critic gets created, but I think it becomes so normal and so ingrained and it comes up maybe commonly at specific times in our cycle, that it seems like it’s part of the cycle. It’s not. It’s actually trauma based and attachment disruption based, but we dissociate to that pain that created the need for what we call in the inner critic that we don’t know. It’s a thing we don’t know. It needs actual healing. It’s a wounded state. So it’s just the general level of dissociation to our pain. And that’s not anybody in particular. This is like a blanket dissociation that most humans have to our pain. And dissociation, just very briefly, is a necessary coping mechanism. Like, when we’re little, it’s too much for us to feel something, it’s too unbearable, so we turn away from it on our psyche fragments to a certain extent, depending on what it was and the conditions. And yeah, we just associate to it. We just put like a buffer in and a cloud and we try and cope. So the inner critic is getting banded about like a ball at Wimbledon because women are trying to cope and trying to find their best way through it. And they found a way to call it a name and kind of befriend it and see what direction it. Can point them in and try and work out a way that it’s helpful, but it’s still a struggle, it’s still suffering and we can do something about it.

[34:20] Charlotte: Yeah, that’s really interesting. I think that that perspective just brings new light to it for me. This sense of it’s showing us where we are dissociating from what’s happening in our body and in our psyche and going, oh, this is like other this is the inner critic. It’s almost like this thing that’s like almost externalizing it instead of going like, oh, this is a clue of something that’s within me, that’s showing me where I need to look more closely and to bring some healing to. So that what you’re saying about it being like a wounded state, an expression of trauma or this kind of signpost of where over here, these criticisms, these judgments, like rage, these kind of things that can come up. And like you say, I hear it talked a lot about as having a natural home in the premenstrual phase of the cycle where this kind of comes up. But then I think that what we can do with it. And I’d love to ask you what your take is on this, what your process would be as well of like when you notice that you’re having this time in any particular point of your cycle, but whether that be the premenstrual time or even another time, then you’re getting this sense of in a mean girl or judgment, like real criticism. Like this nasty kind of voice that’s making you feel like you’re less than in whatever way. What would you suggest that how do we start to connect with that on this more kind of healing route?

[36:17] Melanie: Okay, so I think, first of all, I’ll just kind of speak to the multidimensional nature of it and why it comes up at premenstrual in particular. So it tends to come up, but not always. It tends to amplify at premenstrual because our subconscious opens up, the hormones shift so that it’s nature’s kind of way of helping us grow. So at that time in our cycle, the hormones shift and we have greater access to our subconscious, so it comes up. So what we’ve got at premenstrual time is a different access point to our stored pain and the defense responses we’ve got so that we don’t feel that stored pain. So say it’s got three main facets the criticism, self criticism and criticism of others, judgment of self and judgment of others. And it’s common that rage is also felt as well. So underneath rage is pain. Underneath self judgment is pain. Underneath self criticism is pain.

[37:33] Charlotte: I thought you might be going there.

[37:35] Melanie: It’s pointing us all to there is something, there is something underneath all of this. So we can utilize that premenstrual time to say, okay, well, this is what’s coming up in my subconscious. Of course, usually there are things in our outside world, people things that we can be rageful about anything really. We can be upset about anything. We can feel this injustice about something, we can criticize anything. We live in this world and there’s lots that we could do to become more loving towards each other and ourselves. So there are lots of opportunities for those states to kind of hook on to and almost kind of blame and justify those states. But at the end of the day it’s not coming from a place of love. So let’s take the this life aspect of it because it’s also rooted in either we can either call it past lives or the rest of our consciousness. So the this life where it commonly comes from, I say this all the time, like commonly, but not always. Because if I’m working with someone we just always have to be curious. Let’s see what created the need for this part. So what it’s commonly about is there’ll be some sort of repeated attachment disruption between child and either parent or main carer and we need to attach to survive. Like if we think about a three, four year old child, a baby, anything up to about eleven or twelve in our modern world we need to attach to survive. So children adapt, children watch what gets them connection. Connection means love and safety and that means that we as kids are going to survive. So if we perceive that we upset our parents too much, they might even be like a thought oh my God, I’m unattached, what’s going to happen? And that activates survival terror. Or the parent might say like oh, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, we’ll send you off to social services or something like that. Which activates survival terror as well. Little attachment disruptions are kind of normal in a way with a healthy parent even. But continued attachment disruptions really produce this undercurrent of survival terror because our nervous system is constantly going where am I at? Like what am I doing? If I can’t orient to a parent or they’re very shapeshifty and shift in sands then it’s very difficult. And what we get is this undercurrent of survival terror. That’s a root, we call that like a root pain. And based on that, and I want everyone to understand who’s listening, that most people carry some sort of survival terror. And this is not because something absolutely disastrous happened. This is repeated attachment disruption which is very common. So most of us carry in some form of survival terror until we can heal it. So obviously survival terror is too much to feel, it’s just too much to bear. So what happens is a part of us watches kind of almost a part of our energy goes towards watching what gets us connection and attachment. And that part is what becomes the inner critic because it’s like a self regulating watching energy. So it becomes something like no, don’t do that. No, that’s some work, but it’s not consciously about attachment, it becomes about us. So no, don’t do that. You should have done that. You should have that when something we’ve had a phone call with a friend even, and we can put the phone down or should have said this, should have said that. And there’s lots of anxiety coming up or there’s lots of ranges and lots of expressions of this, but hopefully I’m getting the point across that it’s this part of us that gets created that’s trying to keep us connected to our parent or carer, which then obviously that’s our attachment template or it becomes part of it. And we carry that into not only adult relationships, but creative projects and our work and what we’re doing. And it’s anything from mild to completely debilitating, depending on how severe and often the attachment disruption and what happened when the attachment disruption was present. So it’s just very common and that’s why everyone thinks it’s normal. Not everyone, but most people thinks it’s normal. Does that make sense?

[42:56] Charlotte: That makes total sense. Thank you for sharing that. That makes real sense to me because I can see so much how that plays out. I can think about what comes up for me at that time, I can think about what comes up with others where I’ve been supporting them through this kind of thing and just seeing that that route is very much like you learn how to keep yourself safe and so that pattern plays out for life, really. And I really resonate as well and see it a lot and have experienced it myself as well with when you’re trying to put yourself out there in the world, when you’re like doing a podcast, when you’re trying to say, here’s my offering, do you want to work with me? That kind of thing. Or when you’re birthing creating something and then you’re putting it out and it’s like, oh, how’s that going to be received and seen? And that whole kind of visibility kind of blocks that can come up as well can be very much about this, but like you say as well, it shows up in all these different realms of life. So relationships, your relationship with yourself as well, then how you see yourself, feel about yourself, trust yourself, all of that. I feel it’s like really multilayered and this root is coming through and just influencing us and until we can bring consciousness to it, it’s in the driving seat.

[44:36] Melanie: It is in the driving seat, yeah. And that’s the problem really, because there’s parts of us trying to, let’s say, birth creative project and there’ll be worries coming up about it commonly comes up as is this okay, is this going to be received? But what actually that means is am I going to be received? I feel there’ll be a disconnection with self, it’s almost like a projection. Am I going to be received? Because we don’t feel we’re not secure we haven’t got a secure enough attachment with self because of all the attachment disruption and whatever else has happened. So yeah, that’s the this life aspect to it. But the real juicy one that I love getting to is the multidimensional aspect as well. And the criticism, judgment especially. And this projects as judgment of others and it also manifests as judgment and criticism of self as well. So we are multidimensional beings, all of us, but we’re pretty dissociated to that as well, even more so to the attachment stuff. And we’ve all had a soul’s journey or all let’s say most have had a soul’s journey where we’ve been different things and we’ve done different things and had different experiences. So we’ve been mostly healers and kind of workers of this kind of nature. Those in the healing arts, let’s say, are in a position where we’ve been hurt in childhood and we’re now healing and we’re trying to be kind to others and come from a place of love, however multidimensionally. Not so the case. We will have been in positions where we’ve been the perpetrator and hurt in others and also where we’ve tried to rescue, call it like the trauma triangle victim perpetrator and rescuer or failed rescuer, where we’ve tried to do something and failed it’s often because we’re overidentified with our role as a rescuer, actually. And then we feel terrible about ourselves or we’ve been in a perpetrator position and somehow between lives, we decide, no, I don’t want to do that again. What we do is we constrain our energy because we feel terrible about ourselves. We feel weird. People are carrying in their subconscious when you actually get to it, beliefs like, I’m unforgivable, I’m just a ****** person, I’m not good enough. And this seeps through, this really seeps through into this life. So I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve is past life stuff. So as women, we are terrible at this. We’re like, you do deserve you’re amazing, look at you. We build each other up and wow, fantastic. Because we don’t know again that that stuff is seeping through our subconscious. These subconscious beliefs are from other lifetimes that have formed and they seep through. And of course, then we land with parents that maybe don’t think we’re good enough or don’t think they’re good enough. That resonate somehow with our consciousness and these beliefs get amplified. So the judgment, our strongest judgments are like, look at them, look at what did that woman. Those sorts of things I cannot believe. Absolute disgust and injustice and intolerance and we’ve usually have been that when we get down to it. So I love it when people turn up going, oh, I know we’d plan to do this this week, but oh, this woman. And I’m open with my clients about this. We’re rubbing my hands together. That great. What is it about this woman that really knocks you, that really gets you? And we look and it’s in a past life, it’s in the consciousness somewhere and it shows up as a projected judgment of others. But really deep down, what it does is we’re judging ourselves and then we’ve constrained our energy so that we don’t do that again. But we’ve not got access to that. So what it shows up this time as is again, often in premenstrual time, the sense of judgment and the sense of people aren’t doing it right and I’m not doing it right. And it’s all kind of meshed up really. It shows up at other points in the cycle as well. Particularly in the you might call it the more spring phase or the maiden phase. I call it like this coming out the cave phase where we’re quite tender and we’re forming a sort of new cycle with our psyche. And the inability of women to then daydream at that point is very big because of the social conditioning we’ve got around kind of dreaming ourselves back into reality, but because the dissociation kicks in and dissociation feels like a dream space as well. So it’s all a bit meshed up. So you have to really sort of identify and extract the trauma and process that out of the menstrual cycle to get more of the true cycle. Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent, but so we’ve got the inner critic is sourced and rooted both in this life and also within the rest of our consciousness. So to really come to a more integrated state where I feel very slight shades of it very occasionally, but I don’t have an inner critic. It’s not there anymore because I’ve done a shitload of that work. Very occasionally I feel a little shade, but that just tells me I’ve got some more work to do underneath it. But does that all make sense so far?

[51:13] Charlotte: By the way, that makes absolute sense. I think I really relate to what you said as well about it coming up in that spring or maiden time because I see that heaps and it’s like when we’re looking at how you experience the cycle and working with someone and like, okay, so what’s this part like and that part like? And what are the shadows that come up? And what’s it all like? Usually find that that premenstrual time is the part where someone’s like, I hate this time, this is the worst. I feel like XYZ all of these real big feelings, like difficult energy, difficult thoughts like all of this to kind of work through this time of just feeling like they just can’t wait to get through it. And then when we do the work around it, of unpacking it all talking about it, going deeper into it, all of that kind of stuff. Then when people feel better about that time of their cycle, the next part is usually that springtime and it kind of shifts, the focus shifts. And I see that so many times that and I’ve experienced this as well. I used to hate my premenstrual time when I was really disconnected from my body and my cycle and just wanted to be on all the time. And it was like, all these boundaries will come up and I’d be like, wait, all this stuff I just couldn’t tolerate was coming up at that time and then working with it now or over the last couple of years or so, I’ve really noticed that not so much now. It’s definitely better. But it has been that springtime of coming back out of that kind of dreamy, slow time and having to kind of adult again and get back in the world and feeling like you’ve got to do things a certain way and that it’s not on my schedule or there’s pressures and expectations and responsibilities that sort of come back again after. For me, I get a bit of like a pass when I’m bleeding. It’s like I just kind of check out, but then when it’s like, all right, you’re back. Okay, here you go. It’s all back on you again. And I’ve struggled with that. And so I’ve noticed that I can have this sense of difficulty there. And I’ve seen it a lot in other people as well of overwhelm or sort of like too much, too soon. All of that kind of, this is what you’ve got to do to get through your cycle again, going back to this ideal map, like, this is what your cycle should look like, and then people feeling like, well, I don’t get that, so there’s something wrong with me. All of these ways that we actually experience our body, our lives, our cycle, and then trying to fit ourselves into this pigeonhole of how it should be, just constantly creates this inner turmoil and dissociation and distrust and sort of rejection of actually what our truth is.

[54:33] Melanie: It does, because there’s that part of us trying to regulate us to fit in order to keep connection, in order that we are, we believe, feeling accepted. And we’ve also got that layer of yeah, it’s attachment. Yeah, it’s past life or rest of consciousness, but also we used to live in tribes and we used to have to fit in the tribe for our survival. So I think there’s some sort of sense of that as well. But, yeah, it’s this urge to feel like we’re accepted and we fit because we’re not feeling that within fully enough. So we project it out. And it’s also, by the way, that transition coming from Moon cave to coming back out in the world, that can be one’s birth. Yeah, it’s just this little transition of I heard you saying it too much too soon to say. Often births are very difficult our birth experience, and once that’s recalibrated, that transition is a lot smoother out and this inner critic and the shoulds are processed, it really can become a lot smoother and more into a sort of going genuinely at the pace we need. But yeah, it takes a fair bit of deep work.

[55:59] Charlotte: Huge work, isn’t it? Yeah. I find it so fascinating, and I’m really interested in what you said because, yeah, I have this interesting relationship with past life stuff where I’m really open to it, but I feel like on some level, I don’t understand it enough to kind of really understand how it comes through. But when you explain it, it’s just more evidence to me of how much we do hold from ancestrally past lifetimes, from that soul perspective. We do hold so much in our bodies, don’t we? And, you know, like trauma, particularly. And I just love to invite you to share or speak to this, if you’d like to, about how we do hold these energies or patterns or whatever you want to call it, in your body and in the womb. Would you like to share on that?

[56:58] Melanie: That’s a huge question. Just a little one. Your perspective. Shovel some coal out the back. Just a bit more coal. I think to keep it focused, or what I could probably say in probably under 2 hours is if we look at this, where should I start? We’ll keep it on the inner critic. So let’s say we’ve I love it when I love it when I hear as well, I’m not sure about personalized. I’m not really sure. Oh, Charlote, there’s some stuff there. Come on.

[57:40] Charlotte: I’m open to it. It’s that intellectual part of my brain going and I do believe in it. It’s not that it’s more just this intellectual part of me that’s like so how does that connect? How does that work? Yeah, it’s funny.

[57:53] Melanie: Yeah. Part of that is understandable because I’m guessing you’ve not done any past life work so far.

[58:00] Charlotte: I have.

[58:01] Melanie: Oh, you have?

[58:02] Charlotte: Yeah. It’s like I keep sort of feeling like I’m like, yeah, it makes sense. I can feel it, I can see it. I’ve explored some things where it’s like, oh, wow, there’s a lot in that. But it’s kind of like when you bring it. Yeah. And you were right. How does this play out with the inner critic part? That’s the kind of if you know what I mean, how does that okay.

[58:30] Melanie: So past life work or working in the rest of our consciousness? Because some people don’t like the term past life, and I’m not sure it’s even that accurate because time, space, all that kind of thing, does time exist? So it’s probably more accurate to say we can just look in the rest of our consciousness. But trying to work it out is a little defense response, by the way, because it’s part of our brain kind of going, no, I don’t think I’ve done anything I’m not going to remember. It’s lovely. It’s very common. And we just kind of get past it, just get you to breathe through it and just acknowledge that part of he’s protecting you from having a look at oh, I did that, I was in that position. Which is really helpful, which is healing actually, because if we just look at where we’ve been hurt in our healing process, that’s not the whole of us, we actually get stuck healing, just stuck like looking at all the parts of the times we’ve been hurt because there’s so much of it. It just comes and it comes and it comes and also what happens is we get a sense of attachment from the pain sometimes. Yes, when there’s an absence of love, we have to attach to something. And quite often we do get a sense of attachment from the pain because well, at least something’s there, right? And when we’re little, we need something. So yeah, it’s very helpful to just it’s almost like a paradigm shift in thinking to kind of get our psyche to recognize actually we are everything. So it’s very important when we do that past life work that we are able to understand how that sort of twisted and turned through our consciousness and ended up being an inner critic or contributing to the foundation of the inner critic. And that’s partly the skill of the person you’re working with, actually so that you can work this life and past lives in the same session, so that your cognition can actually connect it. Because if you’re missing that part, you do end up with well, I’m kind of just someone channeled it for me and it didn’t mean a lot, but then you’ve got a dissonance in that understanding of why it’s here and happening now. But when you can work throughout the consciousness and actually do that cognitive connection, it’s very important to understand that it’s not anything we’re sort of doing wrong to really bring that inner critic in and to dissolve it. What’s needed is love for that part and understanding that actually it’s not only protected us from hurting others in this life and really honoring the decision we’ve made to kind of pull ourselves in and regulate, but it’s also really honoring that part for keeping us in connection, for directing us to connection. And when that part gets a genuine sense of understanding from adult self, it has to be genuine. Not just oh thank you, thank you for all you’ve done, but I really wish you’d ****** off. When we get a genuine understanding, that part sort of softens and starts to be recognized and transform because also part of it is when we feel not recognized and not validated and stuff, it’s because we’re not validating those parts of us that we don’t like. So that’s what’s actually needed. It’s kind of hard to describe in a way, but I’m trying my best. Your question was how do we make the connections of how the past life stuff is relating? Is that the work that’s done needs to incorporate this life and past lives in the same work but the brain connections do happen. It’s kind of hard to describe. Am I being clear or not?

[01:03:02] Charlotte: Yeah, you are. And I think it’s really fascinating. It was helpful for me as well, describing it as other parts of your consciousness, but really kind of understanding that this is all played out and these things repeat as well, from what I understand. They do it’s within us. And so the way it manifests is this inner critic using air quotes. But it’s that sort of guide inwards and to look at where it’s coming from. And even when you can’t understand where it’s coming from, like what you said before as well, it can come up as these harsh judgments, these shoulds all that kind of thing. And that being a sense that this is linked to beyond. And I think as I’m listening to you and thinking about it, I’m like, yeah, because there has been times where I can’t rationally explain why I have these thoughts or feel these feelings. It’s like, well, it doesn’t make sense to me like where it’s come from? Or it just doesn’t feel I’m like it’s very true for me but I can’t kind of piece it together in this lifetime. And so I feel like that’s a good clue as well, that these things are in the unconscious, in this realm of beyond, this lived like this lifetime. It doesn’t mean that. And I think that’s my part of my brain as well that always wants to kind of rationalize things a little bit whereas my higher self or whatever you might want to call it, knows full well that you don’t have to necessarily understand and intellectualize these things.

[01:04:54] Melanie: But as we do that work through it, we get that repeated experience of it becomes sort of a felt sense. My video is frozen as well, so you can’t see me right now anymore, can you? You can get used to this subconscious felt sense of stuff coming up and it becomes something that we can recognize as well. Now I’m at a stage where I can be like oh God, well, it doesn’t make sense in this life but I can see how it’s played out. But this feels older. Sometimes I have dreams about what it is and I can access some of it in meditation as well. So we get more and more access to our consciousness the more and more work we do with the rest of our consciousness. And so it just becomes if there’s in a critic or a part that’s doing this or a part that’s doing that, rather than being consumed with it, we can just identify, oh, that’s a thing. I think it’s fear based. Is it fear based or love based? Let’s process it. Let’s have a look. Let’s understand why it was created. Let’s bring that into love. Let’s bring that because if we think about this inner critic constantly doing this job once it’s bought in. It’s part of our energy, it’s part of our heart. It’s part of our soul. And that’s how we get access to more life force and more cohesion within our system and more alignment so that we can actually initiate a creative project and move forwards with it. And it becomes a lot smoother. And the point I want to get across to our listeners really is it’s not something you have to put up with. It’s something that can be understood, processed. Whatever created the need for it can be processed. Then that part can be embraced and it can become part of our energy. And what we’re left with and this is the really important bit, what we’re left with, the true essence of, let’s say our premenstrual phase is discernment. So the discernment and the no bullshit actually amplifies the inner critic and joins with it. But when we’ve actually embraced that part of us and understood it and processed, we’re left with this lovely discernment ability to analyze. And we can just take no bullshit but without chopping people’s heads off.

[01:07:33] Charlotte: Yeah.

[01:07:36] Melanie: Or our own.

[01:07:37] Charlotte: Yeah. I really hear that because when we talk about that, I say we I hear it collectively a lot in this space of that inner autumn or premenstrual time. It’s like those boundaries. And it’s that what are you standing for and not standing for? And you know, like speaking your truth. Well, we can do all these things in two ways. We can do it in the wounded way or we can do it in that healing, loving way. And what I’m hearing you say is that we can access these as strengths. But you’ve got to discern the difference between what’s trauma and wounded behaviors coming from that wounded root versus what’s? Like, can you do this in a loving way where you’re holding those boundaries or speaking your truth or analyzing, reflecting, like, all of that kind of goodness, in a way that’s, like, helping you to grow and heal rather than just, like, you say, biting everyone’s heads off, like, chopping everyone down, hearing you. Like, there’s this invitation here. Can we bring this? Can we explore this? Can we work with these deeper causes, this deeper roots? Look at where we’re attached and not attached. These sort of patterns that we’ve embodied, integrated, and that we’re playing out, usually unconsciously. Can we bring it into more consciousness and then kind of feel into the difference between like, okay, I’m just going to express this rage or whatever it is that’s coming up for you, these critical thoughts, these judgments. Can we express these or work with these in like a healed way where it’s going to support you rather than this destructive way and that’s discernment?

[01:09:39] Melanie: Yeah. It feels different. I think that’s the thing. The boundaries don’t. If it feels like it’s a struggle to put boundaries in, that’s a wounded place that needs some of our psyche needs attention. If you feel. Like, it’s like, I’m going to speak up, I’m going to do this, I’m going to be heard. That’s a wounded place that’s coming from not being heard. And ultimately what we need to do is listen to ourselves and drop back into our own psyche. And it’s all there. We can live with a base of love, but we just need to do that work and even to need to know that it’s a thing that can be processed and healed rather than just it being so normal to live with.

[01:10:29] Charlotte: It and just put up with it. Like we put up with all of these other stories and attachments to our body and our cycle and we’re just accepting it for what it is rather than seeing the opportunity within it to heal. I love the message that this is something that actually it doesn’t need to be something that you just have to put up with. Like there’s more to it.

[01:10:53] Melanie: Absolutely not. Same as period pain, same as period issues. We can just summarize it as backed up energy that needs attention and connection. And of course if we’ve got backed up energy in our body that produces symptoms. Okay, so I want to give everyone like a little exercise to do so we can all do it together. So if you put one hand on your womb and one hand on your heart and just feel your hands on your womb and your heart, just a sensation of having your hands on your body and do a few full body breaths, just as much as you can do right now. So breathing in from the bottom of the feet all the way up the body to the top of the head and then out through the mouth and then back down the body. So it’s just like this wave of breath up and down the body, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Just reminding your system that you can breathe out, that you can relax. Just feel the temperature of your hands on your body as well. Feet on the floor. And just in your own way, just recognize that if you have an inner critic, it has been trying to help you some way. It did get created from this life out of genuinely trying to help you keep connection or fit in, get love, feel accepted and just see the reaction or the response in your body. Do you get a relaxation or attention? And set your intention if you wish, to understand and process what created the need for that inner critic. And you can either set your intention to work with this life, we can also include your whole consciousness if you wish, and just feel the response of your body as you do set that intention. And so a little caveat here and again. See how this lands in your system is we don’t want to get rid of the inner critic. We want to process what created the need for it, then embrace it, understand it. Honor that part of us and bring it into a space of love so.

[01:14:16] Charlotte: That.

[01:14:19] Melanie: That part of our energy can be part of the whole can share its gifts, can share its wisdom and work with the rest of our system so that we can really come from a place of love and do what we want in the world. Again, just notice the sensation of what’s going on in your body and please do share in the comments on Instagram or Apple podcasts or Spotify what happened for you when you did. Yeah. So do one full body breath to close the practice and then come back.

[01:15:37] Charlotte: Thank you so much for guiding us through that. That was really lovely and I’m sure that people listening will absolutely enjoy that and find that a really useful way of dropping in and connecting and noticing what intention wants to be set and what’s felt in the body. That was lovely. I felt really relaxed and like a softening and just coming back into right back into my body, even though we’re here talking and just feeling. When you said at the start, how does it feel just to have your hands on your womb and your heart? And it just felt so nurturing and grounding and then, yeah, I love what you said as well about we don’t need to get rid of this. We can just love it and welcome it and honor it and instead of casting parts of ourselves aside, we just return to wholeness in that way of bringing it all back in together and just listening. So I feel like particularly when I do get to those points of if anything does come up of inner critiquey type stuff or those feelings, that energy, anything where I’m like, oh, what’s that about? I feel like we can use that practice as well to check in right there and then in that moment of like, what is this? Where is it coming from? So that was lovely. Thank you.

[01:17:14] Melanie: It’s a pleasure. I mean, it’s had to be. Obviously it’s on a podcast, so it’s much more abridged than it would usually be if I work with someone. But yeah, hopefully in listening to this, everyone can see that it is possible to come home to love and it’s also possible to process all that survival terror that drives it as well. Does take a bit of time, does take fair bit of prep, but it’s totally possible.

[01:17:44] Charlotte: Amazing. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom, for the laughs, for our reminiscing, and for really taking this concept into new territory. I think giving people a real chance to think about what it means for them, what the truth of it is for them, rather than accepting, oh, there’s this thing called the critic where and this is how it is. And it’s something that we put up with, like you say, really being able to listen into and connect with that place of love, that place of discernment between love and fear and wounding and to questioning questioning everything. I think is so important that we don’t come into this cycle work as like, well, this is how it is, and this is how it should be, and therefore, I’ve got to fit myself into that. And if it’s not right, then there’s something wrong with me. And instead seeing it as like, a chance to check in and notice and what’s going on there, why is it the way it is? How does that feel? All of that work, that deeper work. And your work is amazing. So would you just like to quickly tell people where they can connect with you and what you offer before we close?

[01:19:09] Melanie: Yeah. So my website is thesacredwoomb.com and I have a podcast, The Sacred Womb, which is named thank you, which I’ve been doing for about six years. And, yeah, mainly what I do is one to one trauma healing, womb healing sessions. Those two are not separate, but it’s separate on my website because it’s SEO. I mean, Google needs to read that. I do womb healing and trauma healing, but it’s all the same thing, really. And yeah, I also teach a course called the Womb Medicine Woman Training for women who want to do this work, want to bring rites of passage and circles and ceremonies and embodied cycle work to their communities. So that’s on there too. But, yeah, it’s all on there. I do some events as well, but they’re mainly online because I’m in Thailand and it’s an easy way to reach. Yeah, I really I love doing that work. And the thing that underpins it all is just coming home to love, coming home to our true nature and how can we do that in an embodied way?

[01:20:25] Charlotte: Beautiful. I’ll pop all the links in the show notes, so go check out Melanie’s work, if you haven’t already. And yeah, thank you so much for joining us for this chat. It’s been great to get to know you and to spend this time with you.

[01:20:42] Melanie: Yeah, it’s been great to meet you.

[01:20:44] Charlotte: Yeah, I’ve just loved this, so yeah. Thank you so much.

[01:20:49] Melanie: Thanks, Charlote.

[01:20:54] Charlotte: Thanks so much for listening to Wildflow. I love having you here. If you’re loving this podcast, why not leave a rating and review and share your favorite episodes with those you think would love to listen? And if you share on Instagram, tag me at charlote Puento coach to take the next step in your own journey of learning how to live, love and lead and flow with your cyclical nature. And for deeper guidance and support in your cycle embodiment journey, you can discover my freebies and join my Wildflow coven, my new Cycle Wisdom membership, or even discover my group programs, private cycle coaching and courses, all on my website@charlotepanto.com. Until next time, go well with the flow of your body’s cyclic nature.

meet Melanie swan

Melanie Swan The Scared Womb - The Myth of the Inner Critic on Wild Flow Podcast with Charlotte Pointeaux

Let me introduce Mel. Besides being a Midland gal from the UK like me, Melanie is a Womb Medicine Woman and Multi-dimensional trauma healer who helps women to come home to their true nature by embodying the multi-faceted menstrual cycle, healing multi-dimensional trauma & co-creating with the divine through the portal of the Womb.

Share with us both here in the comments what you learnt from this episode? How does your inner critic show up? Can you connect with it as trauma? Has it felt like something you just have to accept and live with? Are you curious about past life healing through the womb?

Happy listening! Don’t forget to subscribe and please share with a cycle sister, leave a rating, or even better yet, a review.

Thank you!

Charlotte xxx

Connect with Mel:

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Thank you for listening! If this episode lands with you, let me know! Your feedback, questions and aha moments help me create episodes that serve you, so drop me a message on Instagram or leave a review or rating!

And please please share this with a cycle bestie, or three, to help them put cycle knowledge into practice so we can all rise and thrive together! 

Be sure to subscribe to the show on your fave podcast player so you never miss an episode. 

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meet your host

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Charlotte Pointeaux

Charlotte Pointeaux is an Internationally Award-Winning triple-Certified Coach, Youth Mentor, Host of Wild Flow Podcast, a sought-after guest menstrual educator and speaker. She is a Shamanic Womancrafter, a Priestess of the Cycle Mysteries.

Charlotte’s work as a Wild Feminine Cycle Coach weaves together shamanic womb healing and rite of passage work with menstrual cycle awareness and feminine embodiment tools, to guide women through their transformational journey of reclaiming their wild feminine cyclic powers to expressing their big magick as a sacred leader.

Charlotte founded First Moon Circles®, a renowned facilitator training program, to train new menstrual educators to prepare, honour and celebrate children and their care-givers at menarche (their first period). To date, she has trained almost 100 facilitators across 5 continents and is on a mission to infuse families, friendships, classrooms and communities with period positivity and menstrually inclusive practices.

Download your free menstrual magick guide by subscribing to my newsletter, and discover my coaching, courses and short classes at www.charlottepointeaux.com/coaching.

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